“Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.”
– C. Joy Bell C.
It’s probably human nature – to want something and hold on to it, no matter how small the chances are.
That’s the thing about hope, it gives you something to hold on to and give you courage to stay around for a little bit more. But there’s another thing about hope, in some way, somehow, it holds you back. Hope keeps you together but it keeps you from moving forward.
For some people (including me at some point), hope is never a bad thing. Hope is always a good thing – it’s what you do with that hope that makes it good or bad, for you.
“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.”
― Steve Maraboli; Life, the Truth, and Being Free
The most human feeling is to crave. We all have constant cravings that sum up our desires. For some, it could be a career, while others could have it in the form of a material thing. But the most painful constant craving is that in the form of another person – someone we can never have ever or again.
It is that type of pain that takes time to realize but it will always be there, covered in the sense of hope and hopeless romantic antics.
When we have someone we want, we resort to hope – and as excruciating as it is, hope turns this want into a need. At some point, we’ll feel like we need to have that person in our lives until we realize that it’s never, ever gonna happen. But we don’t realize it right away.
It’s not wrong to be blinded by hope.
Of course, all we want is for that person to look us in the eyes and reflect the same feelings we have for them. For some people, that could be the best feeling in the world – when the person you love decides to feel the same for you.
But the truth is, as harsh as it may be, it doesn’t happen to everyone.
Thus, the concept of letting go was formulated.
Easier said than done, yes. But sometimes, at some point, we have to let us go; not them.
Holding on to a lost cause keeps us from experiencing the world; from being with the people we should be with.
Moving is hard but it is necessary.
How do you know that it’s a lost cause?
You know. You’ve always known.
Most people would say that they’re just waiting for the other person to say something; but a tale as old time taught us one lesson – actions speak louder than words.
If everyday you have to wonder if you matter to them, you don’t.
For a moment, stop. Look at where you are and evaluate the progress you have made. You’ll realize that you have made no progress at all because you’re being pulled back by this constant craving.
You’ll say you’re waiting for the right time but time will never be right for people who’s blinded by false hope.
You can fight.
Fight for one last time and if it doesn’t work, let go. Accept the fact that some things are not meant for you. Choosing your battles doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human. It makes you just human enough to feel and get hurt.
Some say it’s about fear – fear of not finding someone that will love us in return. But it gets better.
Someone is out there, somewhere. And one day, they will come into your life and make you realize why it never worked with anyone else.
It’s painful, the never ending process of letting go but to move forward, we must push through the pain, until we get used to it, until we don’t feel it anymore; up to the point that it doesn’t bother us anymore.
It’s like nursing a sprained ankle. At first it would hurt so bad up to the point that we feel as if we’ll never be able to walk again. But time heals everything. As you go on, you’ll feel numb, then feel something again, bit by bit. You’ll be scared to walk again but the more you just let yourself feel pain, the more you’ll learn not to be bothered anymore. And before you notice it, you’re okay.
You’ll be okay.
How do you look at person you love and tell yourself it’s time to walk away?
You know. You’ve always known.
Love should be comforting, it shouldn’t make you feel unworthy. If that person doesn’t make you feel comfort despite the pain, if that person doesn’t make you feel worthy – that person is probably not the right one.
Life is short and we all deserve someone who makes us feel as if everyday is a good day. Someone who will make us smile despite a bad day and someone who makes us feel as if we’re strong enough to conquer the world.
If that person only hurts you, it’s probably the right time to accept that you’re not in love with the person; you’re in love with the person you want them to be.
Let yourself go because everybody deserves someone who loves them for what they are and what they can offer. You deserve someone who will not be afraid to call you “mine” and would not be afraid to let you call them “yours”. You deserve someone who puts you first, not someone else.
When the day comes that you’re ready to let go, go. If they don’t come after you, just remember that the people in your past are in the past. Someday, you’ll realize why they never made it into your future.
Someday, it’s gonna make sense.
“Don’t stress over what could’ve been, chances are if it should’ve been, it would’ve been.”