Look Up

You forgive people the way you have forgiven yourself because most of the time, it’s the not forgiving that hurts. It’s the not forgiving that holds you back.

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It depends on a person’s reasons whether or not he can cross a certain distance.

Sometimes, fatigue sinks in easily.

Sometimes, there could be a huge difference if things were a little bit easier.

But it’s entirely human nature to wish that for once, we didn’t have to work hard to be happy.

..

In a span of a lifetime, we all have that one point where we’ll start to question whether or not we made the right decisions.

Some call it growing up; others call it regrets, others say it’s completely natural to ponder. For others, questions force out answers—when you start to question your decisions, you—one by one—see where and what went wrong.

For a split second, an air of pride and glory will take over. It will make you feel good about everything else and right after that comes the genius slap on the face.

And then you admit.

Yes, you might have fucked up somewhere in the story.

But then you forgive yourself for not being who you wanted to be, for not acting the way you should have—for not saying the things that needed to be said.

After all, what’s done is done and no amount of self-pity could bring back all the people you’ve lost. No amount of apologies could put back together a heart you broke.

There’s no way you could bring back time.

There’s no way you could re-assemble a broken family.

There’s no way you could pull back a life that decided to stray.

Some days, despite your valiant effort, you’re just as powerless as a normal human being.

And you forgive yourself for that.

Some people save lives.

You’re not one those people.

….

Then, you forgive others for leaving you.

You forgive them because they’re just as human as you are.

They make mistakes.

You happen to be one of theirs.

…..

Then you also forgive others—those who are in your life—for not being what they should be; for not being everything they said they would be.

You forgive people the way you have forgiven yourself because most of the time, it’s the not forgiving that hurts. It’s the not forgiving that holds you back.

You forgive them for breaking you every day as you forgive yourself for letting them do it repeatedly.

You forgive them for not giving you a hand as you forgive yourself for not being strong enough.

You forgive them for not being the person you expect them to be.

And then you forgive yourself for trying to change them.

You forgive them for not holding you together and you forgive yourself—everyday, if you have to—for feeling the need to be held.

You forgive them because you have to.

And then you look up and wish for tomorrow because today simply hurts.

…..

You look up with tears that will not fall.

You look up because you believe the sky is yours.

You look up and wish that tomorrow the skies will be bluer.

You look up and wish that tomorrow, they will stop hurting you—or that the pain stops bothering you.

You look up.

It’s the only thing you can do.

The Creationist – Kerli

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The Creationist (Kerli)

SG

Author: Lora Dee

Proof that a degree in Communication doesn't make anyone less awkward; music taste ranges from the very first Britney Spears album to Arcade Fire and Haim but does not include Justin Bieber and One Direction; favorite poet is me because everyone is a poet when they're sad enough.

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