Out of the many concepts I have learned and understood in my years of existence, saying ‘sorry’ is probably not one of them.
Maybe it’s just me. Maybe, I’m simply not fascinated on the idea of admitting a fault or maybe I’m just not as forgiving as I wished I could be—it’s probably both. Yeah, it’s probably both because one goes down with the other.
I’m not perfect. Who is? But I never apologized for it, even when I was wrong—especially when I was wrong. It’s probably pride but it’s also because I grew up facing the consequences of my mistakes even if I didn’t deserve it.
And maybe, it’s just because half of the time, apologies are not enough.
When the damage is done, apologies are shallow; and no, no matter how much you all counter this, it doesn’t fix anything. Maybe I’m on the other end of the rope, but I’d rather work hard on fixing things other than spend my time composing an apology that wouldn’t solve even half of the problem.
I must admit that yeah, apologies can start fixing things like friendships, families, and romantic relationships but apologies can only go so far. After one had said a long, unending list of reasons why they’re sorry, they must go out there and prove that they deserve to be forgiven.
Sadly, most people forget the latter.
Maybe, that’s the reason why I never believed in saying sorry.
I’m probably the go-out-there-and-prove-it kind of person; and yes, while for some people apology is a good place to start, most people simply forget to finish.
That’s why in terms of saying sorry, I rarely did. Twenty-two years and though I have been sorry of so many things in my life, I never apologized for them, unless I have tried every way to correct it.
In sheer honesty, I easily get tired of verbal apologies. I’d prefer amends any time of day. I’d like it better if people just worked on their mistakes other than repeatedly saying sorry for them like they’ll disappear if they reached quota.
They don’t disappear; the scars, the flaws, and the mistakes don’t magically disappear even if the number of times we had said sorry makes it to the Guiness Book of World Records. Maybe, most people just have to stop apologizing and start realizing why they need to be sorry in the first place.
Saying you’re sorry when you’ve done something wrong the first time is probably just human nature but it’s a whole lot different story when you’d have to be sorry for the same mistake over and over.
Once an apology has been verbalized, it becomes a responsibility—a responsibility not to make things right but not make things happen again. An apology is not something you say because you have to, it’s something you say because you know after you’ve said it, you’d try your best not to rehash the same mistake.
But no matter how many times we asked people to not repeatedly hurt us for the same reasons, it just keeps happening again because the art of saying sorry with tantalizing eyes had made its way into civilization.
Perhaps it’s the fault of the people who keep forgiving anyway.
And perhaps, some people just never learn.
Sorry Seems To Be the Hardest Word (Elton John)