this is why it didn’t work out, a prose

I’m not your savior.

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1. Because I’m not your savior; or your lifeguard
or your life jacket.
Because I was 22 and I barely knew how to keep myself up,
and yet you kept dragging me down with you
until I hated it;
until, one by one, all my reasons simply weren’t enough anymore.
I got tired,
because I’m equally just as human as you are.
I’m not your savior.

2. Because I never make plans for two; I don’t think about next year
Or the year after next year.
Because I was 22 and I barely knew where my life was headed for,
and yet you kept talking about things I wasn’t capable of imagining
until it scared me,
because I’m equally just as human as you are.
I’m not your savior.

3. Because I understand that past is past; I don’t like it when people measure me
based on the things I left behind.
Because I was 22 and I barely knew how to be in the present,
and yet you kept bringing the past back
until it crept up to me,
because I’m equally just as human as you are.
I’m not your savior.

4. Because trust is a sacred thing; and you kept breaking your promises
time and time again.
Because I was 22 and I don’t trust easily but I somehow trusted you
and you kept breaking that trust until there was nothing left.
I’m not your savior.

5. Because even love, the best of it, wasn’t enough
to help you put your shit together.
Because I was 22 and I gave everything I can
and yet it wasn’t enough.
I’m not your savior.

6. Because love is supposed to make one fly,
instead you caged me.
Until I can no longer breathe.
I was 22 and it wasn’t time for my heart to die.
I’m not your savior.
I am my own.
So, I saved myself.

7. Because love is not supposed to feel like an obligation.
Or a household chore.
I was 22 and yes, I didn’t exactly know how eternal love looks like
or how it feels like.
But I’m sure as hell I know how toxic some forms of love can be.
I’m not your savior.
I am my own.
So, I saved myself.

Author: Lora Dee

Proof that a degree in Communication doesn't make anyone less awkward; music taste ranges from the very first Britney Spears album to Arcade Fire and Haim but does not include Justin Bieber and One Direction; favorite poet is me because everyone is a poet when they're sad enough.

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