‘when it feels most scary to jump, that’s when you jump’

all i know is that feelings are rarely mutual.

person A and person B meet and they hit it off. the chemistry is palpable. what’s been missing in person A’s life is the entirety of person B, and vice versa.

it could be as simple as that sometimes, person A and person B meet halfway without complications.

in the grand scheme of things, it may mean nothing. it could be just two people meeting and finding each other interesting enough to make conversations more often, to put more effort into everyday because they’re right there–and sometimes, all it takes is someone who sticks around.

but inside one’s little bubble, what seems so small in the grand scheme of things could be as big as an earthquake. it’s that nervous feeling you get when you’re about to talk, it’s that little tingling feeling you get when you’re about to walk next to each other. on the outside, it may seem such a small gesture–the laugh you share, the time you spend together. but on the inside, it feels like an explosion.

you know that feeling you get when the those pop rocks start popping inside your mouth? it feels like that, except this one affects everything including your mindset, including your heart, including your entire perspective. suddenly, you’re open to possibilities, to hope, and to risking it all to have just a shot at something that feels… steady, okay.

when your life has been a revolving door of people coming and going, this shift is scary. it’s scary as hell because you learned the hard way that the people who are here right now are not necessary still here tomorrow–and damn it. you’re young, and it’s not your fault you wish for people to stay. but you do.

on a night as simple as this, you wish they’d stay tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that–and we could go on and on about wishful thinking and other shit that people make up to ruin beautiful things but at the end of the day, when all is said and done, we all just want someone to catch us when we fall.

but then again, it doesn’t always work out that way.

as beautiful as beginnings are, some things aren’t always so simple. person A and person B are perfect but then the time is not for so many reasons. you could be person A or you could be person B but wherever your heads at, there are times when we just come up with so many excuses not to be with the other person.

it’s a habit, i guess. to be in the present but at the same time set your eyes into the looming future–to the what now’s and to the what’s next’s. it’s a human thing to want and need but so is pushing and pulling, and making excuses where there shouldn’t be.

it doesn’t matter if you’re person A who is scared as hell to try because you don’t know what person B is thinking. it doesn’t matter if you’re person B who doesn’t know who you are and you think you need time to figure it out.

it doesn’t matter if you’re person A who is scared as hell because you’ve been burned before. it doesn’t matter if you’re person B who hates losing the game.

all I know is that feelings are rarely mutual–and when they are, you should drop everything else to give it a shot; because some people spend their lives looking for someone that’ll meet them half way and here you are wasting time trying to keep yourself from breaking your heart or someone else’s without realizing you’re already doing it.

all I know is that feelings are rarely mutual–so when they are, get rid of all the worries, the excuses, the pride, and the doubts. because this is it.

this is something some people spend a lifetime waiting for and you came across it by happenstance. by some lucky twist of fate, you got it. so take their hand run as fast as you can.

watch the sun burn bright before your eyes. watch the world fall apart with their judgment and their common sense. watch the world fade away with your pain and reservations.

it’s scary but it’s probably not love if it isn’t.

all I know is that feelings are rarely mutual. so when it feels most scary to jump, that is when you jump.

because if you don’t, you never will.

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