i don’t think it’s possible.
love, no matter what form, is a form of trap. something that begs for an answer even if it’s not a question. a form of starting a war. a form of a surrender. it’s a battlefield. it’s messy.
but when you do it right?
when you do it right, love–no matter what form–is almost always enough.
when you give something to the world, it’s human nature to expect something in return–a recognition, a thank you, a reward. when you love someone, your whole body begs even just for the slightest chance to be loved back, to be seen, to be the person they’ll tell strangers about.
in an ideal world, love is as simple as person A meeting person B. there’s no person C. there wouldn’t be a long list of people who disapproves.
in an ideal world, the person you love will decide to love you back as long as you want them to.
[in an ideal world, i am the exception to your rules.]
but this is not an ideal world.
this is a world full of cruel, melting realizations that some dreams never come true. that your love–no matter how pure, big, and genuine–isn’t always enough. worst, your love could be the most perfect thing in this universe but it’s just not what they need.
and trust me, i understand how frustrating it is to stand outside someone’s door, hoping with your eyes wide and your heart bare, that they’ll hold the door open long enough for you to walk in and stay.
the door remains closed. it rains. you stay for a while. and it’s cold but there’s probably nothing colder than the feeling of not being… it. of not being the person they’d want to stay.
[’cause you know, i’d stay. probably for a very long time, but i don’t think you’d ever let me.]
so maybe, love is also a form existing. of just being there, in that moment. taking what you can because it’s all you can have. and it sucks, to be the one with so much to give but with no one to give it to.
[and it’s you i want to give it to. it’s always been you.]
so what we do is we settle for the next best thing, to having things halfway, to believing that we could stand in the corner and love them from afar. to swear to love them without any agenda.
because maybe, love is also home.
[you can be scared and walk away as many time as you want. but when you’re done running, you know where to find me.]